HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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