Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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