Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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