Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
