Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
