Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Your cock deserves a montage
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
