So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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