I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
