Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
