I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
