I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
