every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
