Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
