Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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