I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
