His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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