I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I need moral support for this bender
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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