Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
too bad you live with your parents still
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
is it fun? or sober?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
