OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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