There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
