Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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