What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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