Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize