Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
why is half of my head shaved?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
