If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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