found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
