We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
