in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
this hospital has no fireball
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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