five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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