it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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