Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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