bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
