Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im holly from the hills drunk
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize
