Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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