Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
