he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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