I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
