Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
