The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize