i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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