he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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