Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
