Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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