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yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
