all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
