ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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