Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
