bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
