mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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