Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
