Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
