they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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