I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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