I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
