why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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