dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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