therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
