He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
