btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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