I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
