Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Holy sore nipples Batman
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
