tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
