going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
