apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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